On a scale of 1 (fine) to 10 (run away and hide), how comfortable are you talking about your strengths?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It could be cultural or societal norms getting in your way \u2013 particularly if you come from a culture or family where modesty and humility are valued over self-promotion or where talking about your successes is seen as boastful or arrogant. This is often the case for women, with lots of research showing that women are often judged more harshly for talking confidently about their strengths but also, conversely and frustratingly, for not doing so! This HBR article<\/a> gives some additional insight into this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not social conditioning? Maybe it\u2019s your old friend \u2018The Judge\u2019 or one of the many other unkind negative self-talk monsters (find out more in this blog post<\/a>) who drip-feed self-doubt and judgement into your mind. These unhelpful messages of not being good enough, being judged harshly by others or being rejected knock your confidence and make you doubt whether you\u2019re actually capable of the job you\u2019re applying for. Spoiler alert… you probably are! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Feeling left out because, well, at least they\u2019ve<\/em> got strengths?! Well, so do you, I promise; it\u2019s just you might find it hard to identify them. Your unkind, negative self-talk might be stopping you from recognising them or you might be underestimating just how significant your strengths actually are. It goes without saying that this will make it much more challenging to write about them in your application or to talk about them during interviews. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And that\u2019s why I love the quote we started with: \u2018It\u2019s not bragging if it\u2019s true\u2019! Being able to back up your strengths with cold, hard facts that showcase what you\u2019ve achieved can really help to alleviate the \u2018ick\u2019 factor that so many of us feel when talking about how great we are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019ve figured out what\u2019s been getting in your way and stopping you from talking comfortably about your strengths, it\u2019s time to delve into what they actually are. Remember, we\u2019re going to back them up with indisputable truths because, all together now, \u2018It\u2019s not bragging if it\u2019s true\u2019! <\/p>\n\n\n\n A top tip before you start is to try to be objective here. It\u2019s tough, especially when your unhelpful, ingrained thoughts about sharing your success are still trying to get in on the action and stop you, but it\u2019s important. It might help to imagine you\u2019re thinking about a friend\u2019s accomplishments rather than your own; that way it\u2019s likely you\u2019ll be a little kinder. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s a task I use with clients who need a confidence boost and a reminder of how brilliant they truly are. Write down all your achievements, strengths and success under a few different category headings. I love a mind map, but feel free to do it however it suits you best. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Add something like \u2018I am amazing\u2019 in the centre. While this might feel a bit cringey, it will help to get into the right mindset: you\u2019re looking for all the positive facts that prove that statement. Then, write down everything you can think of that shows just how brilliant you are. Below are some ideas for categories to get you started but you can choose or add your own. In my experience of using this task with clients, it usually starts slowly but then snowballs until there\u2019s no room left on the page! <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re struggling with this, how about asking a friend or family member to do it for you first? Just as the saying goes, \u2018it\u2019s hard to spot the spinach in your own teeth\u2019, it can be hard to spot our own strengths, because of the reasons outlined in the beginning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It can also help to look at it from a different, less positive perspective. While it might seem counter-intuitive, thinking about your not-so-good bits might just help to reveal your very best bits. Take a look at this previous blog post<\/a> to find out more about how your barriers can also be your greatest strengths! <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a former Deputy Head, I was heavily involved in the international recruitment process and was always on the lookout for real-life examples from candidates that would back up their responses. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So, your next step is to choose some concrete examples that backup your strengths. For example, if the job description requires you to work closely with parents, then give a solid example demonstrating how your \u2018natural calmness under pressure\u2019 (from your skills and talents category) helped to solve a difficult parental situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope that looking into why<\/em> you find it uncomfortable to share your strengths has helped and that now you feel more confident to identify and comfortably share them. If not, don\u2019t worry; keep trying and remember not to listen to those unhelpful, negative monster voices that will creep in and try to stop you \u2013 you’ve got this!\u00a0\u00a0![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/lh7-us.googleusercontent.com\/olyJcQc2ygJ8jUK3mv7R9WUmZ9Rz1QycosOE2kDvcfPKqdKfCFuu5LkovqDX4gMhc-3kqvjVITY5cjkBH6GUo7nQB1fWLvrX1vZs89cXut-lXw61d3yEwFttGLIEkHVDXVMYtYp7SsvK5oXQBUzmcwE\")
So, just how great are you? <\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A strengths sharing strategy<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/lh7-us.googleusercontent.com\/hFbD7xNQPvQdGgfcEszmbqU3hTkDr-B0V6juH4uEyaaAigKOLhNt6gsWs4usIW2UO_3TgVoPtjFe9PaPFD9dytRyC94_512RS7WbrG7uHBsO-VW_VmQDKuzKmBGKz3UNjHTcV3AU1PCfIXY53St_dOA\")
Now, make it specific<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So, to recap:<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How do you feel now?<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Thank you Rachael for writing this guest blog for us. Read more about her below.
Contact Rachael at rachael@schoolleadercoaching.co.uk<\/a>
www.schoolleadercoaching.co.uk<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n